Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Meeska Mouska Bus-kateers

It has been a very long time since I have updated. Basically my life blew up all around me. Again. I am now living in Phoenix again with Morgy. Cody is still in Denver. I would give more details but honestly I don't want to relive much of anything. The engagement has been cancelled and we are no longer dating. Morgy and I are... recovering. Cody is in a similar state. What does the future hold? I have no clue. I know only that I could find no local jobs so I am back on the road, Morgy is loving being around the family again, and I am exceptionally thankfull for the amazing support and structure that is my amazing family.

Morgy has been diagnosed with ADD. Not a surprise to me but the ammount of school she needs to make up is considerable. Luckilly we are back with the family and between Nana, Connie, a great school, and some supplemental schooling on the side she should be back on track within a year. She is also finally getting her swimming lessons and is excelling. She also already has found new and old friends to help ease her loss of the crew she loved in Denver.

I have also managed to move forward in my job. I have wanted to move into the Flatbed division and managed to spend the last two weeks with a Flatbed Mentor. I absolutely love the Flatbed work. Chains, straps, tarps, climbing all over the load, and in generall being out of the truck more is much more my style. My mentor was awesome. Funny, laid back, and had all the episodes of Seinfeld and Will And Grace on DVD. I haven't laughed so much in a very long time. It was very nice liking my job again. Van division had grown a bit weary.

Currently, I am on a bus. A Greyhound bus. It has been exceptionally interesting. As someone who has always travelled on plane or in a personal vehicle travelling by bus is a whole new world. Somehow I figured it would be more like plane travel. I was so absolutely wrong I don't even know where to begin.

The senile, sweet lady who has accompanied me since I first embarked on this adventure was the first intro into the wierd world of bus travel. She is positively darling, and completely insane. My first clue was when she told the story of how the Drug Cartels had rigged the Mega Millions Lottery and owed her 3.5 million dollars. It then progressed into her and the "preacher" praising Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and the glories of God including for all intents and purposes a full mass, and her exclamations of how Jesus protects her as she walks alone, at night, through New York City. Heartwarming, but less so when you can not leave the area or even block out the noise with your headphones. Somehow Gregorian Chant can not drown out the praises of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Not sure how that works but there it is.

Later she began her fixation on the idea that the bus was going the wrong way. In of itself it could be ignored but when she keeps requiring you to read off every road sign you pass it gets old really quickly. She is extremely up-to-date on gas prices. She updates the entire bus when we pass every gas station and then reminds us of all previous gas prices at all major cities in the nation. I find this very informative, and amazing as it is unlikely that she has driven a personal vehicle in at least 10 years.

I do find that she is much more tollerable than many of the other passengers on the bus. Like the guy who announced in the IHOP as I was ordering my first meal of the day (at 1pm), that he had been accused of six counts of assault and battery and had a restraining order on him. Nice. I didn't miss him when he got off several stops later.

I have been less impressed by the tiny Asian woman who has stolen my pillow. She came on the bus somewhere after Dallas and was placed next to me. She is about 4'11" weighs approximately 75#, can't walk, and doesn't speak english, but has still managed to get her seat changed and has taken my pillow with her.

Now the bus has been switched from a primo new bus with leather seats and plug ins for the computer and phone, to an ancient beast who has bad belts, an oil leak and is filled just shy of capacity. Not too much of an issue except that this is the night travel part of the trip and now I can not sleep as there is no room to do so. My tailbone is positively aching. And I am praying that my lack of mechanical good karma will not be following me on this torturous journey through the neverending vastness that is Texas.

My baggage is already missing. I saw it put on the bus in Memphis but when we changed busses in Dallas it was gone. I reported this and was told that they had put it on another bus headding to Phoenix. When I explained that I SAW it put on the bus I was on they just said it was switched. A fight for another day. At this point I am not even sure the bus I am on is actually going to Phoenix. I was supposed to transfer busses two more times but in Dallas they took TWO transfer tickets from me, gave me a different number to give to some other driver to get me in the correct direction and when I tried to ask them to explain the driver simply pointed at the stairway into the bus and said "Get on." So the crazy lady may be correct in her delusions of incorrect directions and Drug Cartel Schemes. Maybe they have purpously misguided my bus to some other unholy destination and only her avowed faith in Jesus' protection and The Holy Spirit will get us through.

12 hours down.

And only 18 hours to go.